Single Parents Can Be Too Emotionally Involved with Their Kids

One trap that a single parent can easily fall into is becoming overly involved with their children. You are extremely busy and having a life of your own can be tough. But, you must make sure that your emotional needs are met elsewhere in order to be the best parent possible for your kids.

Your kids should not be your only reason for existence. You need connection with a spiritual source, possibly a church family. You also need meaningful relationships with other adults. A single parent also must have a passion for something beyond their children. This could be a profession, hobby, or charitable cause.

Kids are not your confidants. They don’t want to know about your dating life, financial pain, or other adult concerns. Dumping this information on kids and relying on them for emotional support can cause them to take on a caretaker role. Kids are not ready for this, and will eventually resent you for taking away their childhood.

If you answer ‘yes’ to the questions below, then you need to be concerned about overburdening your children.

• Do you feel bored and worthless when your kids are not around?
• Are your children the only thing that gives your life meaning?
• Is your self esteem attached to the achievements of your children?
• If one of your kids has an issue, do you tend to take it personally?
• Are your kids continually telling you to back off or avoiding you?
• Are you overly sensitive if one of your children is angry or distant?
• Do you find yourself trying to placate your children rather than setting appropriate limits in order to avoid rejection?

If these questions hit home with you, take steps now to form other relationships with adults, find some hobbies, and connect with your spiritual side. You do not want to damage your children by having them meet your needs.