You’ve just said ‘no’ to a request from your teenager. Now, he or she is arguing and eventually, you find yourself in a yelling match. Use the tips below to stop the shouting and keep control of the situation.
First, treat your child as you wish to be treated. This advice applies when your are arguing as well as any other time. Ask yourself if you would address your best friend in the tone you are taking with your child. If not, then change your actions immediately. Kids model what they see, and if you shout, they will, too.
Since you are now treating your child with respect, expect the same treatment from your child in return. If your child is taking a nasty tone with you, tell them that you will be happy to talk with them when they are ready to address you in a respectful tone. Then walk away, and do not initiatiate further conversations with your child until they treat you respectfully.
Let your child learn from their mistakes. Skip the ‘I told you so’ comments. If your child is ready to talk, you can ask them thinking questions like ‘How did that make you feel?’ or ‘What would you do differently next time?’
Keep a positive attitude. If you are negative, your child is liable to pick up on your mood and reflect it back to you in the form of disrespect and arguing.
If you find yourself fighting with your child, suggest that you both take some time to chill out before continuing the conversation. You are not likely to reach constructive solutions in the heat of an argument.
If your child has wronged you, it is perfectly acceptable to ask for an apology. However, you want a sincere apology, so demanding one probably will not work. Instead, let him or her know that you would like an apology when they are ready to give it.
An angry teen is crying out for more respect. Give it to them, expect the same in return, and watch your teen’s behavior change for the better.