Help Your Child Cope with the Death of a Pet
If you have pets, you will inevitably have to deal with the death of a pet. Children of single parents have often experienced much loss in their life, maybe their other parent or at least time with that parent, or possibly their home and friends. A pet may be their closest confidant even if you don’t see how talking to a turtle can be helpful. How can you help your child cope with the loss of a pet?
First, don’t try to hide the death. Some people may rush out to buy another pet exactly like the one that died hoping the child won’t notice. Some kids will notice, and you can’t predict whether your child will be the one. Hard as it is to watch your child grieve, it’s better for them to go through the grief process.
Let your child decide how to say goodbye to the pet. If he or she wants a funeral, then have one. Offer your help, but let your child do the planning.
Discuss what will happen to the remains. Often, pets are cremated, and you can let your child decide if and where the ashes will be displayed or if they should be distributed over a meaningful place outside. For a buried pet, your child might want to make a grave marker or help select one at a pet cemetary.
Death can raise questions and fears for kids. They may wonder if you or another relative is going to die. Do your best to reassure them that this won’t happen for a long time. While sadness is appropriate, watch for signs of lingering depression as your child may need professional help for prolonged grief.
Kids often immediately want a replacement. Give your kids time to grieve before bringing in another animal. They may reject a new pet as not being as good as the other animal if they are still in the throes of grief. With a little time, they should be more accepting of the newcomer. Be sure that they understand that every animal is unique, so a new pet will not be exactly like the pet that died. Sometimes, bringing home an animal of a different breed or color can help reinforce that the new pet is not an exact replacement of the departed pet.
You can help your child cope with a pet’s death by answering their questions truthfully, including them in the honoring of the pet and by giving them time to grieve before getting another animal.