Buy doubles whenever possible
Especially if your relationship with your ex is strained, you won’t want to be calling him or her to retrieve forgotten clothing or other items. The easiest solution is to purchase a second set of clothes, coats, mittens, shoes, etc. on the cheap from places like thrift stores or yard sales. Send these clothes with your kids when they go to your ex’s. Then, if something does not come back with the kids, you don’t have much invested, and your child still has something to wear.
Do not use your kids as spys
You may be dying to know about your ex’s new significant other, but it’s not fair for you to pump your kids for information. They will resent your prying and may clam up about telling you anything that goes in the other parent’s household. Listen to your kids, and usually, they will eventually tell you what you wanted so badly to know, anyway.
Don’t speak for the other parent.
Your kids may ask why your ex does or believes certain things. Even though you think you know why, direct your kids to ask your ex these questions. You may be approached by other parents who want to make arrangements for a playdate or party when your ex has the kids. Give them your ex’s phone number and let them work it out between themselves.
Allow your kids to love your ex
Humans have an unlimited capacity for love. Let your kids know that they can love your ex, your ex’s significant other, and you and that they are not being disloyal to anyone for loving both of their parents.
Help children know their family history
Don’t hide the pictures of happier times when you and your ex were together. Let the kids know that they were wanted even though your relationship did not work out.
If you co-parent as effectively as possible, you will serve as a role model for your children’s future adult relationships and help your kids navigate through a difficult situation.
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way
Why Did You Have to Get a Divorce: And When Can I Get a Hamster?-
Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex