One way to help your children through a divorce is to keep as many elements of their life the same as possible. You may want to make a clean break and move to another city to start over, but this may not be the best strategy for your kids.
If at all possible, the parent with primary residency or one of the parents if residency is split 50/50 should keep the family home. This will make it much easier for your kids to adjust since they only have to get used to a missing parent and visits versus the stress of moving to a new home. Even if you cannot afford to keep the house long-term, keeping it for a time after the divorce is final will help your kids during the difficult period immediately following the divorce.
If you cannot keep the house, at least try to move within the same school district. Or, if your kids are in daycare, keep the same provider. Since kids spend so much time at school or childcare, some much-needed stability will be provided. If a move out of town or to another part of town is required, try to let the kids finish out the school year since changing schools in the middle of the school year is much more traumatic.
Do you have family rituals such as every Friday night is movie night? Continue these traditions to give you children some consistency. Consider establishing some new rituals to give your kids times to look forward to. If your family has traditions such as spending every Christmas Eve at your ex’s parents home, allow that to continue, even if you would prefer to have the kids with you.
Do you best to keep your children’s lives as normal as possible following the divorce even when doing so is inconvenient for you. With all of the changes that all kids go through coupled with a divorce in the family, the more constancy that you can provide, the faster and better your children will adjust to their new living situation and even thrive.
