If you are co-parenting with an uncooperative ex, you may think that there is nothing you can do to help the situation. The co-parenting tips below will help you make the best of the situation for both you and your kids.
Be there for your kids
Save your errands, shopping, and going out with friends for times when the kids aren’t with you. When you first pick up your kids from a stay with their other parent, stay near them as they often will want to unload about their visit. Do not take them out in public or expect them to immediately start doing chores or homework. They need some time to wind down and get back into the rhythms of your household.
Take care of yourself.
Exercise regularly. Find a friend or therapist who can listen to you nonjudgmentally. Deal with your painful feelings. Eat nutritous foods and pass on most junk food.
Just like the oxygen masks on planes, secure your own before helping your child. If you are unhappy or unwell, you will not have anything left to offer your children.
Do not pass judgment on the other parent when your children can hear you
Since you ex is part of your children, If you speak badly about the other parent, your child will feel belittled. Save your comments for when you can speak with a supportive friend or therapist.
Often, things can be accomplished in more than one way. Just because the other parent’s way is not your way does not necessarily mean that it is bad. Let your kids talk about what goes on while at the other parent’s house and reflect their feelings back to them. Just don’t start adding your commentary on why that parent acts as he or she does or what you think about what transpired.
Teach your child to solve his/her own problems.
Your child will come to your house complaining of situations at your ex’s house. It’s not your job to intervene on behalf of your kids. Instead, teach your children effective communication and problem-solving skills. Your kids need to learn to be assertive with their other parent and with people in general. If they have a problem, they need to be able to work through possible solutions and then act on the one that they feel is best.
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