When you get divorced and share children with your ex, you probably were ordered to pay child support. If your kids visit you, you may be surpised to discover that you have child-related expenses far beyond that child support payment.
First, you will need to provide a place for you kids to stay. If you cannot afford a place with bedrooms for your kids, you will either have to have someone sleep on the couch or on the floor, or stay at a friend’s or relative’s home.
You will probably want to keep at least one extra change of clothes available for each child. You may find yourself purchasing coats, mittens, and other necessary items that may have been forgotten at your ex’s house. If having enough clothes or the right clothes is a continuing problem, you may have to keep outfits at your house that are only worn when the kids are with you.
Transportation is another expense. You may have to drive for a distance to pick up your kids or worse, pay for airline tickets. Don’t forget that you also may have to transport kids to extracurricular activities or to visit with your relatives.
You may also have to help pay for extracurricular activities. If the kids have a lesson of some sort when they are with you, you have to pay since many teachers require immediate payment. Also, you could end up having to purchase sports equipment or other forgotten items for an event that falls on your weekend. If your child attends a birthday party, you will need to provide a gift.
You will probably want to take your kids out for dinner or treat them to a visit to the zoo or other fun place. You will need to allow for this in your budget.
Your kids may have doctor or dental appointments while they are with you. These providers often expect immediate payment, and you will be on the hook for the amount.
Pictures of your children can be expensive. You may have had family pictures taken when you were married. Now, you will have to foot the bill for a picture of your kids and yourself if you want one. Or, you may have to pay for extra school or extracurricular activity pictures if your ex will not share.
When you are negotiating the terms of your divorce, try to build in accountability for as many expenses as possible so that you do not end up paying for expenses that your ex should be covering. Just do not fall into the trap of thinking that you have payed your child support, and now you will not have to spend any more dollars on your kids. You inevitably will have child-related expenses beyond that child support check.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child
A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce
