Many people think that dating is supposed to be fun or even glamorous. While this may be true at times, the reality is that as a single mom dating, going on dates can be quite stressful. You may be worried about your appearance, whether your date is willing to accept someone with children, whether this person is right for you, what your kids are doing in your absence, and more. Single parents and dating stress often go hand-in-hand.
Often, family and friends add to the stress level by urging you to find someone so that you have an adult of the opposite sex with the children. Or, just because they feel that being single is an unnatural state. Let people know that you are just dating right now, and if you find that special someone, you will be sure to tell them. You can also point out that you want to make sure that your children are parented properly which doesn’t leave a lot of time for dating. In fact, over half of single parents are not dating at all at a particular point in time.
You may not even be enjoying your dates because you feel pressured to find someone now or present yourself as perfect. Try to relax and get to know your companion while you are letting him or her get to know you, too. Look at dates as learning experiences and try to take away at least one new tidbit of information from each outing. Maybe your date has an interesting hobby or can fill you in on the local political scene. Then, even if you do not see the person again, you will feel like you got something out of the evening. At the very least, you have gotten another opportunity to perfect your listening and communication skills.
Make sure that your kids are in good hands while you are out. If they are old enough to be home alone, you may want to designate another adult to field any nonemergency phone calls from them so that you are not answering the phone all evening. Then, you won’t be as apt to worry about your children.
If you have just started dating someone, be sure that you are comfortable with the transportation and the plans for the evening. You may want to meet at your destination instead of getting into a car with a virtual stranger. And, you could choose public places so that if you get uncomfortable, you are not alone with this person. You are not likely to have much fun if you are concerned about your safety.
If you don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself, have good arrangements made for your kids, and stay clear of situations that make you uncomfortable, you should go a long way toward reducing your dating stress as a single parent.