If you are a single dad or single mom in the dating scene and looking for a long-term relationship, you need to think about more than just the attractiveness of your potential date or how much fun he or she is. Sharing similar life values is also very important, especially when you are raising children.
Your date may be from a different religious tradition than you. Or maybe your are not religious, but your date is. Even if you share the same faith, there can be many different divisions or beliefs within that religion. While interfaith relationships or those between religious and non-religious people can work, you need to decide whether you are willing to have someone influencing your children that does not hold your views. Also, if you cherish attending religious services as a family, will this person be willing to attend, too, or will you be going separate ways?
Politics is another area where there can be differences. A couple that includes one Democrat and one Republican can have a strained relationship around election time if they are not careful. If you are a rabid Republican, you may not want your kids being influenced by your Democrat partner’s views. People can be very adamant about their political views and seek to sway you to their side. Problems arise when you are not interested in being swayed.
Parenting values can also cause conflict. If you lean toward the permissive side and your companion is authoritarian, problems can result. Even if this person does not have children of their own, parenting values are often picked up in their family of origin and are usually deeply ingrained.
Values surrounding food can also be an issue. If you are a vegan, dating a meat and potatoes person may cause difficulties when you need to choose an acceptable restaurant or decide what to cook for supper. If you are a member of PETA, that person who enjoys killing wild game and eating it may not be a good fit for you.
Smoking and alcohol is another area where values can differ. If you smoke and your partner does not, is he or she OK with you smoking in their home, or are you willing to go outside in subfreezing temperatures? Do you refrain from drinking in front of your kids, and what will you do if your partner likes to have a daily beer after work?
Finding a partner with similar values can make a huge difference in your overall compatibility. And, when you are a single dad or single mom, dating someone with different values not only impacts you but also what you want to teach your children.