Keeping Your Sanity as a Single Parent
You feel like you're going crazy. All of your kids need help with their homework, the dog is barking to be let outside, the house looks like the scene of a disaster, and you're absolutely exhausted. What can a single parent do to keep from just losing it? The key to keeping your sanity is to strengthen your emotional reserves. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of taking care of everyone else except for yourself. If you are at the end of your rope, you won't be much help to anybody. And, you're likely to be in a reactive mode rather than handling situations from a place of thoughtfulness and consideration.
First, you must build time for yourself into every day, even if it is only ten minutes. Maybe you can get up a few minutes before the kids wake up and spend the time reading a good book. Or, you might be able to sneak in a warm bath and a glass of wine after the kids are in bed. Just spend some time each day doing something you love that is totally for YOU.
Incorporate exercise into your day. This can really help give you more energy and to keep you mentally healthy. Exercising at home can be a great option. Or, you might be able to exercise with the kids. You could go swimming, ride bikes, or jog with a jogging stroller if your kids are small. The benefits to exercising are worth the effort to fit it into your day.
Cultivate interests outside of your kids. Yes, single parents tend to be heavily invested in their kids. But, you will be a better parent if you have a hobby or other interest. Also, you are modeling for your children that healthy adults enjoy activities beyond those that they do with their kids. You get to take your mind off of the kids for awhile, and also have more to offer to the other adults around you who may get tired of hearing you only talk about your children's accomplishments. Remember, child-rearing does not last forever, so don't completely immerse yourself in your kids and wake up one day to find that the kids don't need you anymore, and you have no life.
Consider joining a religious group. Many have groups and activities in which the kids can participate while you have some adult time. And, some have resources specifically for the single parent family such as support groups or financial help.
Maintain your friendships and even make some new friends. They can help take a load off of your heart by just providing a shoulder to lean on. Try to have friends of different marital statuses and life situations so that you keep a view of life beyond the single parent family. But, be sure to include some other single parents among your friends because no one will understand what you go through better than they do.
It is possible to keep your sanity while in the trenches of single parenting. With some planning and creativity, you should be able to carve a little time out for yourself and create a full life.
