Being an Involved Single Parent

As a single parent, your time is probably stretched to the maximum. But, you want to be involved at your child's school and extracurricular activities, too. How can you fit this involvement into your busy schedule?

First, determine what activities and school functions matter most to your kids. Maybe they are more concerned that you attend their ballgames and don't care if you can't coach the team. Your child may really want you to attend a field trip with them, but your heading up the bake sale committee may not matter.

Based on your children's priorities, decide which opportunities interest you. Do everything that you can to be involved in your child's favorite activity, even if it is a stretch for you personally. But, you can be judicious about your involvement after that. Your child may want you to participate in many more activities than what your schedule can bear. If you were a great ball player in your day, then coaching a team may be fun for you. If you hate sports, being a coach could be a frustrating experience for you and require much more of your time due to having to learn the sport and how to coach. Your son may want to be a Boy Scout, but you may not be a fan of the great outdoors and going on a camping trip sounds like torture. Try to pick things that you enjoy and that come easily to you so that you can maximize the use of your time.

Now, take a look at your schedule. After accommodating each of your children's top activities, can you fit any of the activities into your schedule without overextending yourself?

Let your kids know upfront what you will be able to do for each of them and the reasons why. Do not feel guilty that you cannot accommodate every request as no parent can. And, your kids need to understand that the family is a unit and sometimes the needs of others take priority over their wants.

You will have to learn how to say “no” when asked to do things that you cannot fit into your schedule. People may get mad when you refuse do something that is their priority such as being the room mother at school. Stick to your decision and do not let someone shame you and intimidate you into doing something that you do not want to do. Your kids need to see you model how to be assertive and say “no” when something is not in your best interest.

As a single parent, you can figure out ways to participate where your involvement is most important to your child if you guard your time and prioritize. Being an involved parent should not include sacrificing your sanity or all of your personal time.