Co-parenting Nightmare

Are you co-parenting with someone who is "crazy," actually diagnosed with a mental illness, or who suffers from an addiction? Or, are you in the middle of a child custody battle? Learn strategies to keep you sane and to help your children cope with this difficult situation. Get tips for what to include in your parenting agreement, how to choose professionals to help your family, and how to protect yourself and your kids. Read more about the Co-parenting Nightmare

Staying Connected When You Are the Noncustodial Parent

Are you a single parent whose kids don't live with you? You may feel badly that you are missing out on a large portion of your children's lives. How can you stay connected with your kids when you are the noncustodial parent?

First, establish methods to communicate with your kids. The telephone enables you to talk directly with your children. If your co-parent doesn't feel comfortable with daily calls from you on the home phone, you might be able to call the kids on their cell phones if they have them. Make sure that your phone is on the same carrier as those of your kids and that the minutes aren't costing either of you if you plan to call frequently. Email and instant or text messaging are other forms of communication. Texting is very popular with kids right now, so you may find that your kids are more accepting of your communication if you use this method. You may consider video messaging if your kids have a webcam. Writing letters is another option, especially if you don't live near your children.

Notify your children's schools that you should receive school communications about your kids. Make sure that you have a copy of the school calendar and any schedules for extracurricular activities. Attend as many events as possible, and if you can't attend, let your kids know that you are sorry you missed the event.

If you have joint legal custody, be sure to remain involved in parenting decisions regarding the kids. It may be easier to let your co-parent handle this, but the kids need to see you being actively involved in making decisions affecting them to reinforce your status as a parent.

When you do spend time with your kids, don't turn the entire time into nonstop entertainment. They need to get to know you as a person and establish their place in your life. This will be hard to do if you are always on the go when the kids are with you. And, you don't want them to just see you as a source of money for fun.

If possible, work with your co-parent to establish a consistent set of rules and expectations for both of your households. If this isn't possible, maintain your own rules but reinforce that the kids must follow the rules of the other household when they are there. Do not let your time with the kids be unstructured and undisciplined to try to make up for not seeing the kids as often as you would like. Your children still need for you to be a parent, not a playmate.

You can remain connected with your kids if you are a noncustodial parent. Keep communication with your kids alive, be involved in your kids' activities, and share in parenting decisions with your co-parentto maintain the connection with your kids.