Why Email is the Best Form of Communication for Shared Parenting Situations

If you have a shared parenting arrangement, you must communicate with your child's other parent. Some parents establish good co-parenting relationships. Many, however, are mediocre to poor. In these cases, email can often be a good choice for communicating with the other parent.

If your shared parenting relationship is conflictual, email takes the personal element out of the equation. Yes, your co-parent can be nasty or even abusive in emails, but not hearing the words in person lessens their effect. You may experience fewer urges to perpetuate a conflict when the person that is the object of your wrath isn't standing right in front of you. Also, it's easier to be businesslike when your words are are in writing and potentially available for others to see. With email, you have a chance to read the email and thoughtfully consider your response instead of feeling on the spot to respond immediately. This alone can bring down the conflict level in the relationship.

Email gives you a paper trail of communications. Be sure to print them off or save them to another media besides your computer's hard drive since computers have a way of losing information. Much of the he said/she said game is over when you can pull out written evidence of your co-parent's words. If he or she is abusive, you now have evidence that may prove helpful in court.

Another advantage is that email can serve as proof that you sent documents to the co-parent. You may be required to send copies of report cards or medical reports. If you email them, you now have proof that the documents were sent instead of refuting claims that you never handed the documents to the co-parent in person. You could even try turning on the receipt feature of your email software for added proof, although your co-parent may refuse to send the receipt.

If your co-parent is particularly nasty to you or floods your inbox with email after email that isn't relevant, you have the opportunity to forward your emails without even reading them. Then, you could have a trusted friend or relative review the emails and let you know of any that you need to follow up on. Your attorney could also serve as your email screener, although this will add to your legal bill.

Email also saves you time as you can state what you need to and then hit the send button. If you make a phone call or try to discuss an issue in person, other topics may be brought up that prolong the discussion.

Unfortunately, email can be misused. A malicious ex could fill you inbox with spam or sign you up for objectionable sites. If your co-parent is prone to this type of behavior, get a separate email address dedicated to communication with him or her. Then, you can easily abandon that email address if problems develop.

Email is often the preferred communication method when parents who are coparenting have difficulty with personal interaction. There still may be some need for co-parents to talk in person such as in emergency situations. But, parents in shared parenting situations who use email when feasible save time and stress along with leaving a verifiable communciation trail.